Miscommunication - Source of Problems and Arguments By Michael LeeIndividuals of opposing ideas can stir up conflicts and arguments. It's that situation when one person thinks he has the right idea while the other one also believes he has the proper concept. Both of them would try to outwit and manipulate each other until one is declared the winner. Here's an actual example. My girlfriend Riza would sometimes buy me signature clothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs, she would advise us to budget our money and just buy the affordable ones. A problem occurs when Riza thinks that her effort to give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on the other hand, would think that Riza is such a spender. There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two people are exactly alike. We are totally unique; not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. There will be many times when your idea or opinion will not correspond with that of another. So how can people prevent misunderstandings from occurring? Proper communication is the key to overcome doubts and conflicts. You should let other people know what's in your mind. Don't keep them guessing. If you want to influence others, you have to use the proper persuasion techniques. There was a story about two couples who were filing a divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to them both, he found out that the root cause of all their dilemmas was due to miscommunication. Here's one of the couple's problems. The man filing the divorce said that he just hated the meals that his wife often prepared for him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's only preparing such foods because she thought he liked them. But she never liked cooking them because they are not easy to prepare. See? If only one of them has the courage to speak out what's in his or her mind, then that particular problem would be over, and there'll be no need for any expensive lawsuit. Now why would people prefer to keep their emotions and criticisms to themselves? What's holding them back? It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others. So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings? Substitute negative words with positive ones. Instead of declaring "You don't understand," say "Let me explain." Instead of saying "You're wrong," say "Allow me to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated." There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with other words that have the same meaning. Nothing could be more pleasant to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first. Say: You're right, although ... Terrific suggestion, however ... I agree with your opinion, however ... I would feel the same way if I were you, although ... I can imagine how hard it is for you, but ... I understand your situation, however ... Reassure them that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice. Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's advantage. About the Author: *** Please feel free to publish this article, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated - send to mike@20daypersuasion.com
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