Negotiation is a normal part
of our lives. Everyday, we engage in negotiation when we try
to convince the cab driver to drive a little faster and try
to take a new route to your office, when we tell our teachers
that we need another day's extension for the term paper that
was due yesterday, when we ask our parents to increase our allowance,
or when we tell the police officer that we were speeding for
a very good reason and should be spared from being issued a
ticket.
Everything we do involve convincing
of some sort - whether it's with other people or with ourselves.
What does it mean to be an effective
negotiator? Powerful negotiation means having strong persuasion
skills. We must be able to successfully persuade others to take
our side of a certain situation, whether verbally or subliminally.
Aside from being effective in
persuasion, we must also be very good listeners. One effective
way is by reading emotions through body language. After all,
how else will we be able to win another person over if we don't
first listen to what he or she is trying to say? Here are five
things you should consider in order to turn your negotiation
skills into powerful tools for persuasion.
1. Learn to listen - If
you're doing face to face negotiations, let your interest show
using body language. Lean toward the speaker and respond to
the statement he or she makes to signal that you are recognizing
his or her opinions. Make eye contact. Prevent yourself from
being distracted by the people and happenings around you.
Ensure that the other person
knows, or at least, has the impression, that you are listening
intently and are interested in what he or she is discussing.
If the negotiation process is done via other means (not in person),
try to be direct with your questions so you don't waste each
other's time. Be patient in waiting for your turn to speak.
Listen to the words unspoken as intently as the words that are
actually blurted out.
2. Know what you want and
aim to get it - Before you begin negotiating, you should
already have a goal in mind. What do you want to achieve from
the discussion? Be honest with your objectives from the start
and don't beat around the bush. If you are direct, the other
person will be encouraged to be very clear about his or her
plans, too.
3. Be organized - Similar
to tip number two, you should be prepared with what you're going
to say before you enter into any kind of negotiation. Write
your objectives down so you don't stray.
4. Don't judge - Pay attention
to facts and avoid letting your emotions and pride get the better
of you. Remember, you and the other person are in the same boat.
He or she is also trying to persuade you into taking his or
her side. Be open to a compromise.
5. Ask questions - When
something isn't clear, ask. Don't let your passion to win the
negotiations rule over the need to also get the other side's
point of view clearly. And even if you already know the answers,
you might not. Asking questions will ensure that the two sides
are still in the same language game and are still referring
to the same issues.
In sum, powerful persuasion succeeds
effective negotiation. If you know how to listen and air out
your points clearly, the easier it will be for you and for the
other person to reach an agreement. Negotiating does not mean
winning a hundred percent. It means learning to accept and work
with what works comfortably for all parties involved.
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